Voyage of the Sea Hag
by TailsLovesCosmo
Summary: Manic should have just kept walking...
1. Chapter 1

"Voyage of the Sea Hag"

Chapter One

"Yo!" Manic said one day as he passed Marine, who was working on her boat. "Wassup, fool?"

"What'd you call me, ya squatter?" Marine cried, dropping her wrench.

"Why don't you speak English, dude?" Manic demanded.

"Oi am speaking English, you jolly wallaby!" Marine insisted. "What the heck are you speaking?"

"Whatcha talkin' about?" Manic asked. "I'm not following you!"

"I don't want you a-followin' me, you stalker!" Marine yelled.

"Who's doing what now?" Manic said, scratching his head.

"Crikey, ya're going to drive me out of me blinkin' noggin, you are, you jumbuck!" Marine shrieked.

"I know you are but what am I?" Manic said.

"Oi'm the captain, is what Oi am!" Marine insisted.

"Captain of what?" Manic asked.

"Captain of me boat, what did ya think?" Marine said. "Oi'm setting sail soon as I find me a crew!"

Manic laughed. "Nobody'd want to be your crew," he said.

"What? How's that, mate?" Marine asked, suddenly sounding hurt.

"'Cause you're crazy," Manic said, starting to walk away. "See you around, sea hag!"

"Sea hag?" Marine cried, her eye twitching. She grabbed her wrench and hit him upside the head with it. She picked him up, dumped him in her boat, and pushed it into the water.

"Where am I?" Manic asked about an hour later.

"On me boat, squatter!" Marine said. "Heading for deep water."

Manic looked over the edge of the boat. "Hey! You kidnapped me!"

Marine shook her head. "Not at all. You've just been shanghaied is all!"

Manic started to jump over board. Then he saw the fin. "Sharks!" He yelled. "There are sharks out there!"

"Course there are," Marine said. "This ain't no duck pond here, y'know!" She tossed a mop at him.

Manic stared at it. "What's this for?"

"That's for you to swab the deck, ya duffer!" Marine said.

"You're crazy!" Manic said. "Where are we going, anyway?"

"We're headin' for adventure, mate!" Marine said.

Manic tossed the mop back at her. "I ain't swabbing no deck for no sea hag!"

Marine hit him with the mop. Then she gave him a good swift kick. "Now swab that deck! Oi'm the captain, and you'll do as Oi say, or walk the plank!"

Realizing she was serious, Manic started to swab the deck.

To be continued

This story is based on a forum roleplay. Marine's character here is based on her portrayal by Dandielion,


	2. Chapter 2

Voyage of the Sea Hag

Chapter Two

Marine's boat had continued to drift out to sea. It was drifting because Manic was swabbing the deck, and Marine…well, whatever it was she was doing, it wasn't steering the boat. In fact, it looked like she was dancing around on the deck, waving her arms. Every once in awhile she'd yell, "Woo woo! Oi'm the captain! Woo woo!"

Now, Manic was a landlubber, but even he somehow suspected that this was not the proper etiquette for a sea captain. After watching Marine do what he called her goofy dance for quite awhile, he finally threw down his mop.

"Hey!" Marine cried. "Get back to work!"

"Why should I?" Manic demanded. "You're not doing anything!"

"Oi am so!" Marine insisted, putting her hands on her hips. "Oi'm doing something really important, Oi am!"

"No you're not," Manic insisted, flapping his arms and over exaggerating her dance. "You're doing like…Woo hoo! I'm the captain!"

"No, you blighter," Marine said, dancing, "Not like that! It's Woo woo! Oi'm the captain!"

"No, I'm the captain!" Manic insisted, dancing even crazier. "Woo hoo! I'm Captain Daffy Duck!"

Marine hit him with the mop. "Ye'll be Captain of Davy Jones' Locker if you keep that up, mate!"

Suddenly there was a little British man with long hair, holding a tambourine, standing on the deck. "Oh come now," he said, "I'm getting so tired of that locker joke!" Before either Manic or Marine could react he was suddenly gone.

"Who was that?" Manic asked, confused.

"Beats me, mate," Marine said with a shrug. "He's not in the script, anyway. Now swab the deck!"

Manic decided to run, shouting "Can't make me! Can't make me!"

Marine followed him, yelling "Oh yes Oi can! Get back here you jolly swagman!"

Manic stopped. "Wait," he said. "Swagman? What's that?"

"A swagman?" Marine said. "Oh, that's someone that carries around a swag bag."

"What's a swag bag?" Manic asked her.

"A swag bag is a bag for carrying swag, of course!" Marine said. "What else did you think you'd do with a swag bag?"

"Oh," Manic said. He considered this for a moment. "What's a swag?"

"Swag?" Marine repeated, now looking very confused. "Swag? Uh…swag's food, mate."

"So where's the food?" Manic demanded. "I'm starving! What have we got to eat on this tub?"

"Food," Marine said.

"What kind?" Manic asked again.

"Food," Marine repeated.

"Once more," Manic said, "what kind of food?"

"Food," Marine said a third time.

Manic sighed. "That bad, huh?"

Marine looked at him. "What?" she asked.

"If you won't say what kind of food it is, it must taste bad," Manic explained. "What is it? Cauliflower and broccoli?"

"Roses and sunflowers, leaves and bugs, violets and carnations…" Marine answered.

Manic sputtered. "You don't eat flowers and bugs!" he cried.

Marine laughed crazily. Manic looked out to sea. Trying his luck with the sharks was looking better and better to him all the time…

To be continued.

Dedicated to the memory of rock singer Davy Jones.


End file.
